Worry can be a beneficial survival mechanism, as it is worry that often motivates us to choose safer alternatives. But the excessive worry that causes anxiety and stress usually provides little benefit, and can severely limit your ability to engage in normal activities. For example, some anxious people fear flying in airplanes. While flying does involve an element of physical danger, the amount of mental energy channeled into negative expectations far outweighs the amount of actual risk. Ask yourself, what is the realistic probability that your feared event will actually happen? Is it worth filling your head and coloring your experience with visions of catastrophe?
Ironically, the imagined catastophe for even more anxious people is a physically harmless event that could occur. This might revolve around fear of speaking, socializing, rejection, failure, embarrassment, loss, loneliness... The list goes on. Anxiety and stress about these fears, if not confronted, can really be devastating if it prevents us from taking action to achieve the type of life we desire.
What we need in order to start moving beyond these self-limiting tendencies are replacement beliefs that give us a sense of self-control in all situations.
There is one belief in particular, one realization, that when fully internalized, will free you to live without excess anxiety and stress, and to fully enjoy the life that you have available to you now: it is the realization that YOU CAN HANDLE IT. Whatever it is that you fear happening, realize now that You Would Be Able to Handle It, if it did happen. No matter how bad it is, you have a strong mind, you will be able to cope, you won't lose your sanity. You will survive.
In the Self Therapy audio, you already started to work on your ability to be present with the feelings in your body. This is where confidence in your capacity to handle anything begins. Knowing that you can experience negative feelings like anxiety and stress without avoidance is a powerful step in overcoming their limiting effects.
In order to reinforce the confidence you are gaining from self-listening, we'll also make this the subject of our first thought modification session. Repeat the following phrases out loud with the feeling that they are true for you now:
• I know that I can handle any feeling that arises in my body.
• I accept all feelings within my body. They are ok to be there.
• Fearing emotions or body sensations only gives them power.
• I do not try to avoid, suppress or run from any negative feeling.
• I am willing to experience the full spectrum of human emotion.
• I accept and listen to my feelings as I would to a good friend.
• By being able to experience all emotions, I am able to live more fully.
• When I feel fear. I just feel it. I am proud of my ability to feel and
go through fear.
• When I feel anxiety arising, I just listen to it and let it be.
• I do not repress or run from my anxiety and stress.
• I fully feel my anxiety and know that I can handle it.
• When I sense anxiety, I do not run from it by seeking diversions.
• I can quickly diffuse panic attacks by feeling and accepting anxiety.
• When anxiety and stress sensations appear, I remember to just feel it
completely.
• The more intensely I observe and accept anxiety, the less power it will
have.
• Life involves emotional cycles. Even when things are dark, I know there
will again be light.
• No matter how far down I go, I know I will eventually be back up.
• I know that the universe does not give me more than I can handle.
