Good friendships and loving relationships can be one of life's most rewarding experiences. However, the quality of all external relationships is in large part a reflection of the quality of your relationship with yourself. Therefore, improvement of THAT relationship should really receive priority over all others. The last two lessons provided an excellent foundation to start doing this. Putting your relationship with yourself first does not mean being selfish. When you resolve your emotional issues, you become less consumed by your own inner suffering, and more able to give to others. Step #1 in improving your life and your world is improving yourself. Like a drop of water on a still lake, the effect of your efforts will ripple out to others. By making your inner needs priority, you will have the greatest positive impact on everyone around you.
Moving on, once you've created a healthy relationship with your inner self, you are then in the best position to start connecting with others in a healthy manner. Often however, interacting with people is itself a significant source of social anxiety. After all, many of the emotional fears that feed anxiety, such as embarrassment and rejection, are associated with interpersonal contact. The affirmations in the next few sections will focus on anxiety-proofing your social thought patterns, communication habits, and interpersonal behaviors.
To begin, social confidence is what you feel after you have reversed feelings of social anxiety, nervousness and shyness, which are so often nothing more than symptoms of the anxiety resulting from negative expectation about the interaction. If you sometimes feel uneasy around people, here are some new beliefs to incorporate into your mindset. Repeat the phrases with full emotion, knowing they are true for you now.
• I am OK with myself and this makes me a comfortable person to be with.
• Because I am secure with myself, my presence makes others feel secure.
• My confident and grounded personality is easy for others to like.
• I enjoy spending time with people. People enjoy spending time with me.
• I am comfortable speaking with others and interact with ease, free of
social anxiety.
• I enjoy getting to know new people; I am becoming a good conversationalist.
• Because I like myself, I also find it easy to like other people.
• I am interested in others, and because of this they tend to like me
more.
• I know that not everyone will like the person I am, and this is OK.
• I always remember that some people will like me, some people won't.
• If someone does not like me or is not comfortable with me, this is their
problem.
• If someone expresses negativity to me, it's probably their issue and
has nothing to do with me.
• If I experience one rejection, it does not mean everyone will reject
me.
• I cannot force others to love me. I do not try to make others love me.
• I can only be the person that I love, and let others love me if they
choose.
• I no longer need to please or do favors for others as a requirement
for love.
• I do not try to make my interactions with others perfect. I enjoy imperfection.
• I appreciate my humanness. I do not try to be perfect.
• Anyone who disapproves of or mocks me is of no importance to me.
• If someone judges me, then that person's opinion does not matter to
me.
• I have no fear of judgment or rejection, because I am ok with myself.
• I am willing to feel nervousness, rejection, and embarrassment. I go
through it.
• I take the risk of rejection that getting to know people requires.
• I take chances in order to find the relationships I desire.
• I make the assumption that most people are basically good and friendly.
• I can feel and move through social insecurity or awkwardness.
• If I feel social nervousness, I just feel it, accept it, and move through
it.
• I surround myself with positive people who support and encourage me.
• I can abandon dysfunctional relationships and know I will be fine.
• Even if I lose love, I always have it for myself and know more is to
come.
